College essay critique?

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PrincessSakura1221's avatar
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Hi. I'm still on hiatus from dA. I'll probably come back once the year ends, or when school gets less stressful. As it is, I barely have time to write or sleep so yeah. Anyways, as you guys might know, I'm in the tedious process of college application, and so far it's been hell. After a month or so of putting off my personal essay, I finally sat down on Friday to write the essay. Thing is, I'm not too sure if it's good enough, so I'm looking for someone who's interested in criticizing it! 

I was actually going to message some of my friends on here to get different opinions, but I'm an insecure mess and will feel like I'm bothering them so that's out of the question, ahh. 

I don't have any problem with writing a completely new essay, so that's important to note. Please leave a comment below if you're interested, and thanks in advance <3
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Rosabelle101's avatar
I wouldn't mind critiquing your essay. I'm just not sure if you would want my opinion, seeming as college is pretty nonexistent here (I'm pretty sure), but I would help to the best of my abilities.